On the male competitive arena…

04/16/2000

So I went out for lunch today with a group of friends and their friends and was disturbed to find myself feeling defensive and edgy which dragged me back about ten years to gawky teenage years of perpetual embarrassment. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and I can’t really understand why I should have felt that way, except that it coincided with the arrival of Fenner’s friend George, who for some reason unsettles me deeply. I think I find his absolute confidence unpleasant. From the point of his arrival onwards the lunch stopped being about a group of old friends getting together and chatting comfortably and started to become some kind of male competitive arena, in which mobile phones were carefully compared and examined, hair-cuts and clothing were noted for signs of appropriate consumption and physical presences were assessed for signs of weakness. I fear I was the only one feeling uncomfortable, and I could just as easily still be feeling the effects of too little sleep and continual vagrancy. I don’t know really…