Vile Stick-Insect Ally McBeal…

06/18/2000

Today’s briefing is brought to you through the tremendous power of absolute and total denial. The day has been filled with all the activities that help me distract myself from bad stuff around me. These include: Chocolate, Random Sex, Music, Daydreaming and The Gym. I am now going to finish the day off with a considerable bout of Pimms drinking outside in the sun.

Which brings me to that appalling harpy Ally McBeal and the stick insect that plays her. You can decide for yourself which of the two I find most reprehensible – but let’s just say the actress plays ‘whining drivel-monger’ with such consummate skill that I can only assume that she was born for the role. And I won’t even get started on the whole “this is just a piece of right wing propoganda disguised as a women’s issues program” speech that I normally give at these points, because everyone always looks at me funny when I rant, and I’m frankly getting bored of it.

Anyway – back to the point. On this, the hottest day of the year in the UK, with the most glorious sunshine and the most ridiculous (if pleasant) proliferation of half naked people, I have to read the that the insane Calista (SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE: eat more pies woman!) has declared that, “England makes me stink because it rains all the time“.

I doubt the link will stay valid for long, so I quote in full the article in question:

Calista Flockhart: “Britain Makes Me Stink”

Ally McBeal star Calista Flockhart doesn’t like visiting Britain because the rainy weather leaves her smelling like a wet dog. The waif-like actress discovered the uncomfortable truth when stranded in a storm on a recent trip to London. She told talk show host David Letterman that although she liked London, the weather put a real damper on things. She said, “It was great but it rained every day that I was there.” When Letterman asked, “It’s supposed to rain in London, was it misty and romantic?”, Flockhart replied, “It was cold and damp. Do you know what happens in London when it rains? You start to smell. It’s true – you start to smell like a wet dog because what happens is you go out and you’re all happy because you’re in London, then it rains. And you don’t have an umbrella, because I’m an American, so then it’s sunny but you’re wet and you smell.”