Not a real man. Not a real poof.

11/05/2000

OK so it’s a standard conversation. You’re out with women and you’re chatting away about someone who’s just fucked them over in some way and they say things like, “All Men are pointless”, or “I’ve never met a man who didn’t like football”. And then you look a little perturbed and say, “Well I’m a man, and I’m not pointless and I don’t like football”, and then they look at you in a slightly conspiratorial / slightly pitying fashion and say, “Well straight men – you know what I mean”. They might as well actually say “proper” men.

OK so it’s a standard conversation. You’re out with women and you’re chatting away about someone who’s just fucked them over in some way and they say things like, “I wish straight men could be more like gay men – you know, cultured, tidy, good cooks that never belch.” And then you look a little perturbed and say, “Well I’m a gay man, and I belch and am a mess and eat pizza and watch bad television”, and then they sit there in a slightly embarrassed / slightly appalled way and say, “Well, other gay men. You know what I mean.” They might as well say “proper” poofs.

There’s a website called Guyville and its tagline is, “Where Men Can Be Guys” – but really it’s all about birds and sports and gadgets and shagging. It’s a bit sad really.