1990: Travelling around America aged 18, Tom has bought himself an ironic Mickey-Mouse cap.
1993: Travelling around Europe by rail aged 21, Tom has grown his hair ironically long.
1994: At his graduation aged 22, Tom ironically makes a pass at a completely uninterested classmate.
1995: Living alone in his first year as a postgraduate, Tom takes to wearing tight shirts that used to belong to his grandfather. Ironically.
1996: In Bath, Tom develops an ironic overbite and a Brideshead Revisited look.
1997: At a friend’s party in Bristol, Tom appears with a nice hair-cut and an ironic goatee beard.
2000: Our long journey comes to an end. Look how far Tom has progressed in life! Stick out that ironic tongue, Tom! You know we love it!
2002: And now some later additions: With loony stary eyes! Being ironically creepy-looking! Check it out – my eyes move in opposite directions!
2003: A trip to Helsinki leaves Tom contemplating a simpler life as a fisherman:
2004: A few months of systematic hair-growth (my hairdresser refusing to cut my locks) leaves Tom looking like an ironic tramp or a cult leader.