Tom Coates Explains Everything

Tom Coates Explains Everything
• (to PJ Gallagher): Your impulse to eat corn dogs and grape juice is more likely (in my humble opinion) the cause of your shit days than a result of them.
• (to Kylie): The official line on queercompany is that anything that aggravates Middle England is OK with me, but that I am interested to see whether or not the image of two men kissing is more offensive to the masses than women getting it on.
• (to Kali): No, strudel is beyond my meagre talents in the kitchen, I’m afraid. I think I missed out on many of the important gay genes that make you able to decorate effectively and not fart in public. The straight men who are not completely insensitive to a woman’s feelings (like my mate Nick) have an evolutionary advantage and will gradually erase homo crapulence from the planet. You have my word.