Tom Coates Explains Everything (Part Five)…

(to Nick Cornwell): No, dear chap, I was not ‘pulling your pisser’, and should you wish to know what the conversation was about, then merely scroll further down the page.

(to Whalen Toni): Yes I have indeed read slash fan fiction. Back in the mists of time I used to spend a lot of time over at, and, which is where I first stumbled upon the phenonemon. I have to confess that I find the idea of women getting turned on by writing about men having sex with each other slightly strange (I assume this is the point). Most of the women I talk to swear that this does nothing for them. Well it certainly does something to me… There is a particularly interesting (and well written) series about Dr John Carter (from ER) and Skinner (from the X-files) which everyone should read immediately. If anyone has the URL I’ll link to it ASAP.

(to Marshall): Until this point, my feelings of inadequacy did not apply to Furbies, but now you have pointed out that said creatures can launch into a thousand languages while running on an Energizer battery, I feel crushed and pointless as a human being. Thanks a lot.