Mass Slaughter or Suicide?

I remember saying to myself in March that if I hadn’t found a permanent job I wanted by my birthday, then I would seriously consider either mass slaughter or suicide. I’m no longer comfortable with the stresses and insecurities of freelance work. Well, one month from today, I turn 29, and while the industry does appear to be picking up slightly, I’m increasingly concerned that I’m not going to be in my dream job by that magical date. I’ve done some stuff during the last couple of months that I’ve always wanted to do, and I’ve done some stuff that I never want to do again. And while I’ve done a lot of good work (I think barbelith is coming together very well) I just don’t ever really feel able to relax and I’m always thinking about where the next work is going to come from. Tonight, I really do feel so very very tired.