I wish I had a

I wish I had a digital camera, so I could have chronicled this afternoon in an entirely voyeuristic way. About half an hour ago, the police arrived to talk to me about the attempted burglary on my flat. When they realised that my neighbours had been broken into as well they went in and had a look around, and it was agreed fairly swiftly that the place had been pretty well raided. They’re still not back from their night out, so as yet they don’t know what’s happened. I’ve had to leave our front door open and put a note on their door to tell them to come around to ours before they go in – so they don’t disturb too much evidence. Apparently the police will take casts of the marks made by the crowbars so that if they catch them in the future they’ll have evidence against the people who tried to break into their place.

The policemen came into my flat for a few minutes to get my statement straight and immediately commented on the life-size cutout of Buffy that Kate and Nick got me for my birthday. “That’s the kind of woman I’d like to have,” said one. “She’d never have a bloody headache.” Short of saying, “Hello, my name’s Tom and I don’t sleep with women, I didn’t really know how to reply to the man’s attempts at frustrated-man bonding. So I replied, “She’s really convenient actually – if you’re having guests around she can fit under the sofa.” Then he saw Mella’s life-size Angel cut-out and made a confused face. It’s the little things that entertain me.

The weirdest thing about the whole event is how quickly you doubt what you saw. My first impressions of one of the perpetrators were that he was 5’6″, slightly podgy, dark-hair, wearing a loose white t-shirt and being about 16 or 17 years old. But when they started asking me if I saw the crowbar that he was carrying, or whether he wore shorts or trousers, I became really confused. I seem to remember him carrying a crowbar, but I can’t be sure. And I think he was wearing shorts, but again – I might be wrong. I remember one was carrying a large empty white translucent plastic bag though. One with square edges – unmarked – like a high class clothes store bag.

The most annoying thing about the whole thing is how I can’t go out this evening – how someone has to be here all night for the neighbours. It’s very frustrating. I wonder who let them into the building.