Working from home, short of

Working from home, short of cash, recovering from houseguests, thinking about my future. There’s a fair amount of stuff in my head at the moment. I go out so infrequently at the moment (compounded by working from home) that I’ve almost forgotten what it is to enjoy other people’s company. It all seems like a tremendous hassle. And I wonder if it’s making me antisocial. Every so often I forget how comforting I find my own company. And then on other occasions it occurs to you that it’s a way of avoiding taking your place in the world. I think about what job I might get – whether the BBC will be interested in my application or not. And I think, if they are, what will it be like? Will it feel like I’m moving forward? Or am I killing time? And I think about love and sex and romance. And how I’ve decided against all of them. Or how they’ve decided against me. And how I’m happy with that. And I wonder, deep down, am I really?