Headline competition (2000)


In August 2000 I stumbled upon a list of amusing headlines – headlines which for one reason or another had rather dubious double meanings. The headlines read as follows:

  • Include your children when baking cookies
  • Something went wrong in Jet crash, expert says
  • Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
  • Iraqi head seeks arms
  • Prostitutes appeal to Pope
  • Panda mating fails, Veterinarian takes over
  • Clinton wins on budget, but more lies ahead
  • Miners refuse to work after death
  • Stolen painting found by tree
  • War dims hop for peace
  • If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last a while
  • Cold wave linked to temperatures
  • Red tape holds up new bridges
  • Typhoon rips through cemetery – hundreds dead
  • Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
  • New study of obesity looks for larger test group
  • Kids make nutritious snacks
  • Chef throws his heart into helping feed needy
  • Local high school dropouts cut in half
  • Hospitals are sued by seven foot doctors

For what may very well be completely spurious reasons, I decided that these headlines would be even more amusing with some visual aids to support them – and so I put out a call to the weblogging community of the time. With hilarious consequences…

“Kids make nutritious snacks” by David Pannett
“Prostitutes appeal to Pope” by Meg Pickard
“Include your children when baking cookies” by Brad Morse
“Chef throws his heart into helping feed needy” by Neale Talbot
“Minors refuse to work after death” by Meg Pickard
“Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers” by Jason Theriault
“Panda mating fails, veterinarian takes over” by Marshall
“Panda mating fails, veterinarian takes over” by Meg Pickard
“Local high school dropouts cut in half” by David Pannett

Unfortunately there’s one entry (never before seen) that I have lost the original contributor for. If you made it, please let me know!

“Red tape holds up new bridges”