Inspired by this mad post (for which I can only say that the reason is that people get uncomfortable when they have to think of gay people actually having sex as opposed to decorating their spacious apartments), I present:
Top-Ten-Traits-You-(ie. I)-Like-About-The-Gender-That-You-Generally-Prefer-To-Shag (What it is about blokes I fancy)
- They have short scruffy hair that you can breathe through when you’re spooning.
- They have really nice spine curve from shoulders to bottom.
- When men are quite slim and vaguely well exercised, they can kind of sit in these weird positions where all there weight appears to rest on their upper back and where they seem to be triply segmented into chest, stomach, rude-areas/legs – this is the sexiest thing in the world…
- Some have really big chunky hands, and some have quite slim, proportioned hands. But they nearly all have hands – which is good.
- When they grow a little stubble on their faces they don’t look like German athletes, unlike women. In fact they often look better than they do when they’re clean shaven.
- Men look convincingly mean when they think about sex. Plus you don’t have to worry too much about breaking them.
- Hot geeky boys get really excited and passionate about weird things that I can identify with. Hot geeky girls get really excited and passionate about weird things that I cannot identify with. Mostly.
- Some men have these voices and you can feel the air vibrate when they talk because they’re so rich and thick. And you vibrate all the way back through your body whenever they say something, and it’s a bit like sun-bathing in sound when they talk. Normally these men smoke too much.
- Men aren’t supposed to really care that much about what they look like, but mostly they do, but when a guy manages to look great while looking like it was kind of accidental and he isn’t entirely happy about it, then they become immediately irresistable. Men do scruffy well.
- Defined muscles on the arms and shoulders and down the stomach are just great big invitations for dubious thoughts.