Well of course the big news of the day is that although I’m not actually one of the people in this advert, at least I know a fair share of them [found here! oops!]. According to the advert they’re exactly the kind of people that are needed for the position of ‘sales executive’ for Teddington, they understand field sales and have a positive attitude and motivation. Whereas I was under the impression that they were a group of idle webloggers, many of whom have actual proper jobs, and who submitted their passport snaps to an impromptu online collection – little expecting that an unscrupulous newspaper advert designer might whip them off to white-passport-photo-slavery in [pron]AZZER-BUY-JAHN[/pron].
Let’s examine the advert from the top – I don’t know who they all are, but I can point you in the right direction for most of them. Firstly is the redoubtable Davo who is leaving us shortly for Noozleland, then comes Graybo who we are reliably informed by a huge thick arrow has a vibrant personality and lots of confidence (despite appearing to be grimly sitting through a particularly implausible and depressing European art-house movie), then there is a clown – which can only be Mo Morgan during one of his summer holiday educational breaks which he spends in clown drag helping misanthropic Irish children to avoid becoming misanthropic old bastards who work for the government. Beneath him is the well-known poet, homosexual and long-dead fop Oscar Wilde, then there’s the beautiful Meg Pickard who seems entirely unthrilled about the whole affair over on her site (‘in with anger, out with love’), a substantially younger-than-he-is-today Nick Jordan and finally an out-of-work actor who I imagine probably pays the bills ocasionally by getting stints as ‘third homicidal maniac’ in Crimewatch reconstructions.