Looking at my passport photo, I’m suddenly gripped with a fear that they won’t let me into the country, followed by a massive burst of misery at how badly I seem to have decayed over the last five years, followed by a massive sense of my own mortality and of the inevitable and steady decay that I can expect until death. God I’m depressed.
34 replies on “Cheery thoughts before flying to America…”
I suggest getting a copy of the Autobiography of Malcolm X, The Anarchist Cookbook, The Quaran and putting them in your carry on bag.
But, on the plus side, the beard looks cool.
Beards? They scare me.
I thought beards were for people who wanted to flout their masculinity (or who wanted to hide their double chin…)
Oh well
May the BBC live long and prosper
Shave the beard off dude, you’ll loose 5 years in age and people will come up to you and say ‘I didn’t want to say before but you look a lot better without the beard’. Happened to me, true story.
If that’s all you have to worry about, Tom, then you are one lucky bastard. I say to you: “Pshaw!”
You look like Tom Jenkinson’s evil twin, albeit slightly bored.
You are so going to get a shave in San Diego, Tom. Even if we have to strap you down and sedate you before the razor comes out.
Yup, lose the beard (you knew this).
But at least you have the wonderfull camera.
Growing a geography teacher beard isn’t a sign of decay – why don’t you just shave it off?
Have an orange. The smell and taste will not only cheer you up, but they’re also good for you! Yay for oranges! They’re brill!
Well done. I have the same camera as you, assuming you have the 400. I have tried and tried to take my own photo but every attempt yields an image of a stroke victim or a drunk or both. You are clearly cleverer than me.
As for the beard, I used to wear one of similar length and, on the rare occasions I trimmed it very short, would be met with a chorus of appproval, much as described in previous comments. This pissed me off no end because I wore the beard to be me, not a namby, pink-faced comformist like the rest of them, and I hate hate hate being hailed and congratulated for conforming.
But the beard did itch and make me look older and also make me look like a backwoods hick.
Ultimately, I found a way around the issue: each week, I use a beard trimmer without the comb, resulting in something like a 2-day growth that looks really good. As soon as it approaches proper beard length, I trim it.
In this way I am able to remain defiantly nonconformist, exhibit a vague air of ruggedness and cool, but avoid the aforementioned negatives.
Caaaaake
Behold the mighty So-Going-To-Get-Stopped-At-Customs. Unleashed from his Bush House prison, the wild man roams free, foraging for food along the Strand. Cake, then. Cake is big in Florence this week. Schiacciata Alla Fiorentina, to be precise, a large …
You oughtn’t to worry: a friend of mine took several months out to grow a really big, bushy beard for the specific purpose of having his passport photos taken: just for contrariness’ sake – passport done, he shaved the beard off. He travels widely & has never mentioned meeting with any problems because of it.
Don’t worry Tom … it’s just a *veneer* of terrorism. Everyone knows the real you is much more loveable.
AAHhhhhh
Make the scary man go away!
sexy. really. wait, really?
The beard has got to stay. The philosophy of the beard is worth it alone.
I actually very much like the beard – ignore these philistines – although you could probably improve it with a big, floppy hat, a long coat and a whimsical grin.
from texas : agree with aangespoeld – lose the beard, but the cam’s great – not to be too down in the mouth about. you hair looks better now – compared with the plastic helmet in the old photo. too much goo.
Don’t listen to those pogonophobes: a beard is not a fashion statement; shaving is.
Keep the beard, shave your bonce!
MMmmmn. Keep the hair, keep the beard… when you get to the US customs, wear a pair of orange sunset 70’s specs and talk in a faux-cuban accent. Call everyone Hombre and laugh too loudly. You’ll be fine.
Great site, by the way.
Tom, I travelled across to Chile some five years ago from Blighty. I got a new passport before leaving, clean shaven, hair cut short and looking damm young. Now, some five years later I am feeling old, looking older, bearded, wondering if the UK will ever let me back in. Enjoy your hols
Laters
Ean
hehe you might need a shave! One of my co-workers at the airport dyed his hair red and they wouldn’t let him air-side, he had to dye it back as best he could to his original colour!
If they don’t let you back in, just burst into tears, no one like a scene!
Ian
I don’t care what you guys say. Tom is uber-sexy and I shall continue to stalk him until he notices I exist, or at least leaves a comment on my blog.
oh don’t be depressed, you’re a hottie! I think so! (but then I’m a girl, so what do I know…)
I still think having an orange would be best. Its an entire bottle of antidepressants in a handy peelable package.
Two words: Richard Stallman.
I’ll bet it’s an IXUS v3, andrew. And, I like the beard..
It’s an Ixus V2. Thank you very much. Have to say am feeling way way better about everything since I’ve now got into the country. More importantly I’m beginning to realise how much I’ve let stress get to me recently and how incredibly relaxing and liberating a couple of decent nights sleep can be! Am feeling sexier already. Expect new pictures shortly in which I look gorgeous.
Love it! But then I have hinted at that before… People who shave are hiding something. Their beards!
yup… you do indeed look like a shoe bomber. *hug*
x
Tom, you are looking scarily like Charles Manson, ever thought of starting a cult? On second thoughts…
Tom you look pretty cute with the beard but my God buy yourself some new damn shoes! I swear I feel like strangling puppies every time I hear that squeak!