Cheery thoughts before flying to America…

Looking at my passport photo, I’m suddenly gripped with a fear that they won’t let me into the country, followed by a massive burst of misery at how badly I seem to have decayed over the last five years, followed by a massive sense of my own mortality and of the inevitable and steady decay that I can expect until death. God I’m depressed.

34 replies on “Cheery thoughts before flying to America…”

Beards? They scare me.
I thought beards were for people who wanted to flout their masculinity (or who wanted to hide their double chin…)
Oh well
May the BBC live long and prosper

Shave the beard off dude, you’ll loose 5 years in age and people will come up to you and say ‘I didn’t want to say before but you look a lot better without the beard’. Happened to me, true story.

You are so going to get a shave in San Diego, Tom. Even if we have to strap you down and sedate you before the razor comes out.

Growing a geography teacher beard isn’t a sign of decay – why don’t you just shave it off?

Well done. I have the same camera as you, assuming you have the 400. I have tried and tried to take my own photo but every attempt yields an image of a stroke victim or a drunk or both. You are clearly cleverer than me.
As for the beard, I used to wear one of similar length and, on the rare occasions I trimmed it very short, would be met with a chorus of appproval, much as described in previous comments. This pissed me off no end because I wore the beard to be me, not a namby, pink-faced comformist like the rest of them, and I hate hate hate being hailed and congratulated for conforming.
But the beard did itch and make me look older and also make me look like a backwoods hick.
Ultimately, I found a way around the issue: each week, I use a beard trimmer without the comb, resulting in something like a 2-day growth that looks really good. As soon as it approaches proper beard length, I trim it.
In this way I am able to remain defiantly nonconformist, exhibit a vague air of ruggedness and cool, but avoid the aforementioned negatives.

You oughtn’t to worry: a friend of mine took several months out to grow a really big, bushy beard for the specific purpose of having his passport photos taken: just for contrariness’ sake – passport done, he shaved the beard off. He travels widely & has never mentioned meeting with any problems because of it.

I actually very much like the beard – ignore these philistines – although you could probably improve it with a big, floppy hat, a long coat and a whimsical grin.

from texas : agree with aangespoeld – lose the beard, but the cam’s great – not to be too down in the mouth about. you hair looks better now – compared with the plastic helmet in the old photo. too much goo.

MMmmmn. Keep the hair, keep the beard… when you get to the US customs, wear a pair of orange sunset 70’s specs and talk in a faux-cuban accent. Call everyone Hombre and laugh too loudly. You’ll be fine.
Great site, by the way.

Tom, I travelled across to Chile some five years ago from Blighty. I got a new passport before leaving, clean shaven, hair cut short and looking damm young. Now, some five years later I am feeling old, looking older, bearded, wondering if the UK will ever let me back in. Enjoy your hols

hehe you might need a shave! One of my co-workers at the airport dyed his hair red and they wouldn’t let him air-side, he had to dye it back as best he could to his original colour!
If they don’t let you back in, just burst into tears, no one like a scene!

It’s an Ixus V2. Thank you very much. Have to say am feeling way way better about everything since I’ve now got into the country. More importantly I’m beginning to realise how much I’ve let stress get to me recently and how incredibly relaxing and liberating a couple of decent nights sleep can be! Am feeling sexier already. Expect new pictures shortly in which I look gorgeous.

Love it! But then I have hinted at that before… People who shave are hiding something. Their beards!

Tom, you are looking scarily like Charles Manson, ever thought of starting a cult? On second thoughts…

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