A brief tirade about totaphobia…

08/13/2006

This is trivial and I will be mocked. More 4 is currently rebroadcasting The West Wing from the beginning and they have it surrounded by this sponsorship thing from 118118 which is some directory thing I refuse to use. And one of the adverts that surrounds the thing has the 118 people saying, “I have totaphobia, it’s the fear of absolutely everything,” and it’s supposed to be a joke or something, but it drives me mad! The main reason it drives me mad is because (1) it’s not a word and (2) there is a word for this condition and it’s a real bloody word and it’s not bloody totaphobia. You know why it’s not totaphobia? Because tota- is derived from Latin. I think it’s Medieval Latin. On the other hand -phobia is derived from Greek. Greek is not Latin! Normally when you try and make new words out of nowhere then you only use one language to do it. It’s only sociology and television that break that rule and they’re stupid words anyway and everyone knows it. Coincidentally there’s a word for ‘all’ in Greek and when you put that word together with -phobia then you get a perfectly real word that gets used all the time and the word is pantophobia. Which is even funnier than the word they used on the television! And I know that it’s not a really well-known word, and I’m sorry about that, I really am. But every time they say totaphobia on television I cringe and flinch and I die a little inside. And that is all…