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Empire reviews Donnie Darko: “On a shadowy, non-existent street in Weirdsville, USA, first-time writer-director Richard Kelly lives next door to David Lynch and Greg Araki. In order to keep up with the neighbours, he has crafted his own magnificently bizarre hybrid of suburban paranoia and apocalyptic teen angst… Although this feature debut is a little lighter and less artfully obscure than David Lynchís best work, Donnie Darko is nevertheless a mini-masterpiece that marks the arrival of brave new talents in Gyllenhaal and Kelly. Cult glory surely beckons. Five Stars.”

The TV show’s up before the site is, although it seems the site is appearing before my eyes. I’ve only watched about half an hour of it – I mean, proper television came on and I had to turn over. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, Fame Academy has come to television. And already I have a favourite, Ainslie is a fluffy little star in the making. Although he can’t dance for shit.

Is it insulting? Probably not. Is it frustrating? Very definitely. Bill Clinton has given a speech to the Labour party conference in Blackpool – and it’s a good speech. A bloody good speech. So good, in fact, that it’s been transcribed completely for Salon.com. But all through the transcription, one thing sticks out like a journalistic sore thumb. Time and time again, the article changes the name of the British left from the “Labour” party to the Americanised “Labor”. It’s probably been done with a spell-checker by some half-arsed intern, but still… It’s unforgiveably bad journalism, laughably poor sub-editing, and atrocious proof-reading. Is it any wonder that people think America is insular and isolationist, if major press institutions can’t even be bothered to put in the ten seconds of effort it would take to spell the name of our governing party properly? If I could find an e-mail address, I’d send in a complaint.

Not the World’s Funniest Joke: An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.” “But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

I’ve been fascinated with cryptography since I first used PGP – and more fascinated still since Cryptonomicon explained to me how cryptography worked. I’ve never read a book that gave me more information on contemporary cryptographical techniques – which is probably why it was classed as a munition for a while in the US (and therefore couldn’t be exported).

Today there’s an article on BBC News (Light Holds Key to Uncrackable Codes) which reveals that significant progress has been made on Quantum Cryptography – the most significant benefit of which is that if a decryption key is intercepted, then the act of observation changes it. This means that it’s immediately apparent to the ‘legitimate’ parties that the key should be changed.

But to a certain extent, the article confuses me. I had assumed that most people and governments would be using some variation on public key encryption. This kind of encryption works on the assumption that it’s much easier to multiply numbers together to provide a huge key than it is to work out from that key what numbers were multiplied together. Because factoring is so difficult mathematically, it’s also pretty much the holy grail of contemporary cryptanalysis.

With public key encryption, each person has two keys – a public one that can be disseminated freely which is used to encode messages that can subsequently only be decrypted by the private key. Think of it this way – the process of encrypting is like the process of multiplying together two large prime numbers – quite easy. But the process of decryption is like trying to work out what those original numbers were – a process which takes such a huge amount of computer time that it’s functionally impossible to figure out (without the private key). Which such a system there’s no benefit in keeping the public key secret, and no reason to circulate the private one. So I suppose I’m curious as to the benefits of Quantum Cryptography in it’s current form. Quantum Cryptanalysis, on the other hand….

When plasticbag.org went kottkesque (which I somehow insist on pronouncing kot-key-esk rather than the more plausible kot-kesk) I was concerned that I’d be taken apart for being unoriginal, or for even stealing his design. But at the same time I felt comfortable asserting that, after considerable thought, the design of kottke.org was simply the most elegant solution to the formatting of weblogs. And now it seems to be catching on: Gas Giant reveals upcoming design…

I’ve been exploring MIT’s OpenCourseWare site – a collection of full lecture notes, exams and assignments which allow you to be trained in a number of MIT undergraduate courses. At the moment, two courses particularly interest me – Problems of Philosophy (very much in the Anglo-American tradition, but interesting nonetheless) and the rather more challenging Laboratory in Software Engineering, which I suspect would be utterly beyond me. There isn’t a huge range of courses online yet, but I have a feeling this could be an extremely significant and important move that really has the potential to empower and educate people.

Almost a year ago I went to see Donnie Darko at the London Film Festival. I wasn’t expecting a lot before I went in, but I adored it. I eagerly waited for its arrival at the cinema, but it never arrived. It was given a fairly low-key release in the States, and then vanished without a trace. When I wanted to get a copy on DVD, I had to get it sent to me from Japan.

But now it’s coming to London. The reviews are appearing, and they’re pretty sensational. There are tiny stickers dotted all around the underground. Cal even saw a trailer. Time Out’s written about it (but they haven’t put the article online, so unfortunately I’m unable to link to it). People are calling it the best American movie of the year. It’s still going to get a low-key release, and I doubt it’ll do hugely well in the mass market. But I’m practically panting at the opportunity to see it again on the big screen…

From the Sight and Sound review: “Boiling the plot down to a few lines, or even to the 400-word synopsis that appears elsewhere in this issue, risks making the story’s knotty skein of incident sound either trite, ridiculous or incomprehensible. But here we go anyway. The bulk of the movie follows a timeline in which its title character (hungrily played by Jake Gyllenhaal), a disturbed teenager who appears to be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, is led by visions of Frank, a man in a fake-fur suit and nightmare rabbit mask, to commit a series of crimes while sleepwalking in his small town in 1988.”

• Official Site: DonnieDarko.com

Received via e-mail this morning along with the caption, “It’s worse than we thought”. I’ve got no ideas about it’s origins, but it’s pretty entertaining…