Now this is the way to go about winning a bloody stupid competition…

“If it were up to a public vote, a la the bloggies, I most certainly wouldn’t win, but with a panel of judges I’ve definitely got a chance. Of the eight judges, I’ve sent five of them a mince pie in the post, and I threatened Anita Roddick with throwing rocks at customers of the local Body Shop unless I get her vote. This one’s in the bag.” [Lawrie Malen]