Dumb Theories about Buffy…

So how do I do this without spoiling things for people in the UK who don’t know what’s going to happen? And how do I do it without sounding like a total dork? How – in fact – do I talk about Buffy Season Seven (as being shown in the States at the moment) without giving too much away? It’s a tough one, certainly. Perhaps an impossible one… Nonetheless, I must take my strength from the example provided for me by my televisual heroine! Battle on against all the odds! Fight for what is right! Kill all the vampires! Um.

Ways in which Tom increasingly resembles Xander Harris:

  • Frankly not as thin or as devastatingly hot as used to be.
  • Knows too much about Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Books.
  • Hair unruly.
  • Considers Anya to be Goddess but wouldn’t have married her.

Ways in which Tom increasingly resembles Andrew:

  • I think I’m kinda gay.
  • Knows too much about Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Books.
  • Looks good in black.
  • Occasionally kills people to look cool to hot guys. Did I say kills people? I meant gave people lovely presents and help with their homework and stuff. Phew.
  • Has never successfully slaughtered a pig.

Dumb Theories about the End of the Series:

  • Buffy can’t be a slayer any more.
  • Something important – significant – has to be sacrificed.
  • There have to be a couple of happy endings. Anya / Xander?
  • Buffy and Spike are not meant to be together forever.
  • “Cos you gotta have Faith…”

Other ways I could humiliate myself in front of my weblogging peers:

  • Tom Coates baby pictures.
  • “Why I was wrong” – a series of articles examining every thing I’ve said on my site over the last three and a half years that subsequently turned out to be completely wrong.
  • The ‘Comic Relief’ special?
  • Everyone likes stories about digestive problems…

I think maybe it would be for the best if we just forgot I ever wrote this post. Let’s all just move along. Nothing to see here. Just too much caffeine and not enough good TV.