So there’s a guy outside the back of my flat who has lit a bonfire against the back wall of my building. The flames are licking up the wall. There is a large empty courtyard behind him. But no – the bonfire obviously has to be lit on the building. I asked him what he was doing with the whole “lighting a big fire against my building” thing. He evidently thought I was reacting entirely strangely about his completely legitimate arson attempts because he looked quite surprised by my question. Maybe he’s been setting fire to things for about ten years and no one in England has felt able to comment before. “I’m sure he’ll go away eventually dear… Just grin and bear it, eh?”
So anyway, it turns out he’s trying to getting rid of paper “with the name of god on it” and didn’t want to be disrespectful by putting it in the bin. He thought he’d best light the bonfire against my building (flames licking up the wall) during the day, “because [he] didn’t think people would be at home”, so clearly it would be less inconvenient for them. Unless of course they got home and they didn’t – you know – have a flat any more. I was terribly polite. I asked him if he knew what he was doing, he asserted he did. I looked a bit uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to be rude. So I came back inside and left him to it. Funny old world.