Ha ha. There's this really

Ha ha. There’s this really funny site all about writing unmaintainable code that I found via In the groove. It’s so funny. I love it. Particularly the bit about using ‘i’ for non-int variables. And that wonderful bit about global names:

“Declare a global array in module A, and a private one of the same name in the header filefor module B, so that it appears that it’s the global array you are using in module B, but it isn’t. Make no reference in the comments to this duplication.”

OK. I admit it. I didn’t understand a single word of the whole site. Not one word. They might just as well have been speaking with a Welsh accent for all the sense it made to me. I just wanted to be a proper geek – just for a moment… <Sigh>.


On posts that should have been e-mails…

The post that should have been an e-mail:

I finally found >access afr through Grant Cook, stand up and be counted!

  1. Please no more 1Mb Flash files. Please god. No. They’re lovely, but my connection is a bit … wobbly.
  2. Love the site. Start smoking again immediately. Lot’s of people tell you it’s bad for you. They are insane. Ignore them. They drink and take anti-psychotics (when they remember).
  3. You need to change your listing on the blogger directory, because at the moment it doesn’t go to the right URL.

[To camera: Do you want to make a post that should really have been an e-mail? Just do it! And then tell me about it.]


Speaking of Blogger, does anyone

Speaking of Blogger, does anyone want to try and explain to me how and why I went to this URL [] and what the hell it is for?


Blogger links to the Evening

Blogger links to the Evening Standard article.


Refutations: Cocky Bastard and Mom


  • Cocky Bastard and Mom Blog are not based in the UK.
  • Many of the sites in the Evening Standard article have been around for ages, and are popular and well known. If you want to find out more about UK webloggers, then go to Jen’s GBlogs page.
  • The Sun is a rampagingly right wing paper and should not be trusted to give a fair appraisal of the functioning of the government. The World Bank gave the government’s handling of the economy their equivalent of a gold star just a few months ago. Many things they may be, but unprofessional and incompetant with money they are not.
  • If tax revenue goes down then public services have to have less money. That has to be obvious, right? The fact that other countries may spend less on public services, or get their tax revenues from different things does not undermine the fact that less money = less spending (unless you’re the US of course).
  • “The British” didn’t decide to follow the French example in the fuel protests. Certain members of certain British industries followed the French example. Most of the people who support the protests haven’t yet stopped to consider why the most recent price rises have taken place (OPEC) or what would happen to income tax or public services (for example) if the duty was cut.
  • S Club 7 release their most musically accomplished single to date? No comment
  • Some people do not think that the criteria for winning awards should be financial success, but should be based upon criteria of quality. Can you imagine automatically giving the Best Picture Oscar to the film that did the most business at the box office? This is Child of Thatcher stuff!
  • Copyrights, while being troubling at times, basically allow people to make money out of their ideas without having them stolen by other companies and or individuals. This allows people to make a living out of their creativity. It’s ironic. I’m much more for sharing money and keeping ideas.

Finding access afr…

Does anyone know the URL of the weblog called >>access afr? I’ve tried looking for it on blogger, but the URL provided there doesn’t seem to go anywhere. Any ideas, anyone?


On the UK Petrol Crisis…

Brief thoughts on the UK petrol crisis (now thankfully ended):

  • British Petrol (“gas”) costs a hell of a lot (comparatively).
  • Some people whose work depends on using a lot of petrol rightly view this as compromising their profits or indeed resulting in their businesses folding (haulage companies, taxi drivers etc).
  • These people have every right to protest, and protest they have.
  • A lot of other people use cars when they could or should be using public transport.
  • The high levels of tax to be paid on petrol reflect the desire of the government to limit pollution by getting people to use public transport.
  • The high levels of tax also provide considerable revenue for the treasury to spend on public services such as the National Health Service.
  • Many members of the public have supported or participated in these demonstrations despite the fact that they have also wanted greater spending on the National Health Service, less pollution and better public services.
  • If they want these services maintained, then the money has to come from somewhere.
Food & Drink

On Barmen…

Barmen are alluring for three reasons. Firstly, they have to be nice to you. Secondly, they are often employed because they are physically attractive (although this could be a condition only in gay culture). Thirdly, they bring you alcohol if you ask them nicely.

Barmen are unobtainable for pretty much all of the reasons above. Firstly, they have to be nice to you. They don’t actually want to be, quite a lot of the time, or they’re tired, or they just resent having to be chirpy all the time. Secondly, they are often employed because they are physically attractive. Everyone knows that the more attractive a man is, then the more selective he can be, and the more unpleasantly arrogant he will become as a result. Thirdly, they bring you alcohol if you ask them nicely. And then they watch you get drunk, from afar, in a detached fashion. Possibly with an eyebrow raised.

I have a long history of being fascinated with barmen. Most recently, I have been trying to strike up a conversation with one of the barmen at Escape which sits beneath the Raymond Revue Bar in London’s Soho. I’m not particularly trying to nail him – I just think he looks cool. But the curse of being a barman is the ongoing assumption that everyone wants to shag you – and hence the complete inability to talk to anyone who, at first glance, you wouldn’t necessarily want to wake up (with a hangover) next to.

Having realised this, of course, my first thought was whether it might be possible to supplement my income with a part-time, day-a-week job behind a bar. But maybe that’s taking things too far.


Quotes from "No Logo"…

Quotes from “No Logo” by Naomi Klein (1):

“Nineties marketers, being on a more advanced rung of the sponsorship spiral, have dutifully come up with clever and intrusive new selling techniques … Recent highlights include these innovations: Gordon’s gin experimented with filling British movie theatres with the scent of juniper berries; Calvin Klein stuck “CK Be” perfume strips on the backs of Ticketmaster concert envelopes; and in some Scandinavian countries you can get “free” long-distance calls with ads cutting into your telephone conversations.

“And there’s plenty more, stretching across ever more expansive surfaces and cramming into the smallest of crevices: sticker ads on pieces of fruit promoting ABC sitcoms, Levi’s ads in public washrooms, corporate logos on boxes of Girl Guide cookies, ads for pop albums on takeout food containers, and ads for Batman movies projected on sidewalks or into the night sky. There are already ads on benches in national parks as well as on library cards in public libraries, and in December 1998 NASA announced plans to solicit ads on its space stations. Pepsi’s ongoing threat to project its logo onto the moon’s surface hasn’t yet materialized…”


Improvements at the BBFC…

For the libertarian in all of us, the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification) has set out it’s new guidelines – and they are much less invasive than they have been before. In films specfically targetted at children, the guidelines have been strengthened, but for films for adults, the consensus seems to be that people now firmly believe that they should be free to choose for themselves what is an appropriate level of violence or sexual content. And about bloody time.