So, I am sitting at work, having spent the day being shown how to force quark documents through extraction tools and sql databases, thinking about organising my travelcard, sending off replies to letters about preview screenings of films and wondering where I am going to stash my gym clothes when I go to the party that Nick, Toby and two other people are organising in a bar in Chalk Farm. It’s supposed to start around 7.30, which give me an hour to get there. It looks like my flatmates aren’t going to be able to make it as they both have work commitments. which means I have to put my chin in the air, down a few satisfyingly strong drinks, and try to find my inner chirpy fun person…
Author: Tom Coates
Theories of weblog popularity…
I have a theory that for a weblog to be popular, it must i) have a definite focus for its writings, ii) be written well, iii) have a clear and appealing visual presence and iv) fabricate some form of online personality that people actually like (or be famous). My theory can be extrapolated into explaining why some weblogs are less popular than others. Those sites that are based upon complete whim of content will therefore be at a certain disadvantage, unless the personality expressed is particularly effervescent. I present the following breakdown of the top eight weblogs (according to beebo.org, [Issued May 11, 16:42 GMT+10]) as proof or disproof that my theory holds water.
[NOTE: Half way through this rigorous process, I began wondering whether or not this exercise was turning into a weblog review kind of thing. Which really doesn’t interest me that much. But since the post was so bloody long already, I thought I should probably see it through. Make up your own mind as to its validity (if any) and worth (if any). I promise I’ll try and think of something more interesting to write about tomorrow…]
- http://slashdot.org
Billing itself as “News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters”, Slashdot is the communal weblog that comments on all the latest trends in techworld. Because of the number of people posting to it, it doesn’t have the advantage of a highly individual and distinctive voice, but it more than makes up for that in a well developed community feeling. Also, it’s sheer wealth of information compensates for a clunkiness of design.
Focus: 10 Well Written: 8 Visual Presence: 7 Famous/Endearing: 8 Additional: 8 (for depth of content) - http://kottke.org
Jason Kottke’s personal presence is something of a weblog anomaly. It manages to tread the fine lines between personal, cultural and tech commentary, without sacrificing integrity and without pissing off people interested in one element more than the other. Of course it helps that he is one of the focuses of elegant design on the net at the moment…
Focus: 7 Well Written: 9 Visual Presence: 10 Famous/Endearing: 9 - http://robotwisdom.com
Robot Wisdom’s allure is a relative mystery to me (Rocky Horror Quote: “I didn’t make him for you), although the huge amount of content that it contains is impressively picked apart and commented upon.
Focus: 10 Well Written: 8 Visual Presence: 4 Famous/Endearing:6 Additional: 8 (for depth of content) - http://memepool.com/
Memepool is a stalwart denizen of the old school of weblogging – selectively providing links and commentary to many of the more interesting sites around. Content is mostly self(web)reflexive, in the sense that most the sites and news articles selected are about the net itself, but there is an intriguing sense of play and wit behind the scenes. Very little in the way of personal content.
Focus: 7 Well Written: 9 Visual Presence: 8 Famous/Endearing: 8 - http://camworld.com/
A site which is serious about commentary and the dissemination of information in a clear and intelligent fashion. The design pays short shrift to the idea of making the site pleasant to look at, concentrating on a more modernist aesthetic of total functionality. And it succeeds admirably. The content is laid out on the page in an incredibly clear and logical fashion. The same attitude manifests itself in the content of the log itself: functionality is the key, laconic clarity the style, and technology the subject. The few elements of HTML trickery reveal this to be a site for and by tech people.
Focus: 10 Well Written: 7 Visual Presence: 6 Famous/Endearing: 7 - http://www.stormwerks.com/linked/
Zannah takes a completely different approach to the weblog, drawing the personal diary-like aspects much closer to the forefront, while still revealing herself to be a serious commentator on the web and the people who live in it. She’s also the first of our ten heroic webloggers to make a picture of herself a prominant part of the site.
Focus: 7 Well Written: 7 Visual Presence: 7 Famous/Endearing: 8 - http://www.evhead.com/
One of the team at Pyra, and hence a stable of the blogging community, Evhead’s log looks good, mixes technical content with personal content as if there weren’t any difference at all (which for many of us, there really isn’t) and has an unselfconsciously playful attitude towards HTML, XML and DHTML trickery (without overplaying them).
Focus: 7 Well Written: 7 Visual Presence: 8 Famous/Endearing: 8 - http://50cups.com/strange.html
Strange log this one – designed with a certain elegance, written with a certain charm, with content that has a certain appeal. But I can think of almost nothing to say about it at all. Mainly traditional weblog format: links with short commentary and little personal detail, with occasional bubblings of a singular personality wanting to break through.
Focus: 6 Well Written: 7 Visual Presence: 7 Famous/Endearing: 6
I’m always amazed that my favourite weblogs aren’t more well read – I guess it reflects a divergence of interests in the community as a whole. Where were: riothero, megnut, kitschbitch, powazek etc etc… [Later Note (13/05/00) Evhead explains everything]
I thought it would be interesting to come up with some really cool, and yet weird and fucked-up domain names – you know – ones that no one would ever buy, and then name them here and see if anyone bought them. I came up with a few really good ones, including my absolute favourite rabidrabbit.com. Shock of all shocks: they’ve all already gone…
Barbelith… Now with permalinks!
Now with permalinks. I have been resisting this trend for quite some time now, because it would expose my weird habit of continually adding to an individual entry. I have used this technique to keep a certain amount of logical flow on a page, and to keep important entries that I make in a day right up at the top. But now, alas, no longer. The other reason I have resisted these things is that I have this horrible feeling that barbelith is beginning to look cluttered. Things are just not where they are supposed to be, and there is too much colour pollution in my beautiful serene web/site/pool. But hey. That’s a matter for another day…
Come on now kids, play nice…
Come on now kids, play nice…
Oh Lord, won't you buy me…
Does anyone want to buy me a computer? In my two months of homelessness, I have used net cafe computers only. And now I finally set up my own computer and it seems like I have stepped back about eight years in time. I don’t think I can handle it. The most terrifying thing about it is how much I dislike it being a PC. I have been a PC user for nearly ten years now. TEN YEARS. I made all those Mac jokes about how they were crappy and shoddy and boring and pointless and ugly. And now I find myself desperately pining for the sexiest G4 on the planet. I mean just look at it. I can’t stop drooling!
It worked for k10k.net – they’ve got Apple sponsorship – so why can’t it work for me? I’m a shameless prostitute. I’ll have myself tattooed with the Apple insignia. I’ll do anything, goddammit… So this is a blanket call to the world out there: –
Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Me an Apple G4
My friends all have PCs
I don’t know what forI’ve built many websites
But now I’m in awe
Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Me An Apple G4
I’m Orange…
God! I finally took the emode “What is your true colour” test that has been cycling around the blogs, and it came out with this, which is a bit of coincidence if you ask me:
“Vibrant and charming, ORANGE is the color of your personality.”
New blogs proliferate like some form of weird fungal infection on the net. There never seems to be an end to it (good). And along with blogs come blogmemes – viral ideas attached to the fungal media produced by relatively disease free human beings. The blogmeme of the moment is a design feature – the dotted-line. After the relative success of barbelith orange, I will come out and say that dotted lines will be the only thing to be seen in this summer. That’s so a good look…
Comments about language…
My comments about language (yesterday) seem to be echoing around the net with some speed. In the course of the day I have written a very apologetic e-mail to Tracy for using her as a launch-pad for what is clearly a much larger rant, been chastised for criticising American culture as low-brow (never my intention), been introduced to the regional variations of dialect in Newfoundland, been agreed with by a New Zealander and told I am naive by someone else. Here’s a selection of the best comments that have emerged in response to my ravings:
Matthew Rossi: “When you just assume the rest of the world exists to become more like you, you don’t need to worry about things like [culture]. America is a monster. A bastard born out of deformed magecraft and naked opportunism, it rolls over other national identities like the Cohort of Julius Caesar meeting Vercingtorix. Bastard confident, a great big engine that chews up shit and blood and hate and spits it out all over the landscape.”
Prolific: “I was taught by mostly Brits and Americans in a teacher training college in Utrecht. Oddly, there were none of the ‘my English is better than yours’ vibes there, perhaps because these were language teachers. We were told ‘adopt an accent, any accent, be it American, English, Welsh or Irish. It will help you sound more convincing.'”
Kitsch Bitsch: “I can most wholeheartedly agree with Tom when he says that the worldwide awareness of American vernacular far excedes the average American’s awareness of regional versions of the language.”
Daily Doozer: “I don’t want to get into a nasty argument about cultural imperialism and the proliferation of American media. I don’t want, particularly, to talk about any perceived or real damaging societal effects. Personally, I think that at the moment I’m a typical student and I’ve completely lost faith in capitalism (and it’s probably a phase I’ll go through before I become a corporate lawyer).”
LEWD, the London Elite Weblogging Detachment that I alluded to a few days ago is beginning to come together. Or at least it seems likely that it is – people seem to have been rather flummoxed by my complete lack of contact details. Sorry to not so soft, LEWD blog #1. Daily Doozer is also trying to start some kind of IRL weblogger meeting, which I am more than up for. Perhaps it can become the basis for WXW1 (West by West One), Katy’s idea to compete with those American chappies and their SXSW.
Dull weblogger? Take a life altering pill and become more vibrant and throbbing. Continuity.nu was the only site that picked up on my challenge to spice up a blog, and even then, well:
“There are a few [weblogs] that are genuinely dull.” Thanks, Tom. Webloggers all over the world are now thinking, gosh, I hope I’m not dull.
Just for fun, and because I am terribly proud of (most of) them, here are a few buttons I recently designed for timeout.com:
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Oh and one last thing! Mark! What on earth are you talking about?
“I had a randon ICQ message the other day, asking me what kind of shampoo I use. Stupid question, right? But the more I’ve thought about it, the less stupid it became. I *KNOW* people by their scent. If Tom was to use Herbal Essence instead of my suspected Head and Shoulders, he’d be a totally different man than I thought him to be.”
The scariest thing is that I actually don’t even know what shampoo I use. At the moment I am stealing odds and ends off my flatmates. That could mean anything. Particularly as I don’t have a sense of smell. I could be dousing myself in a great big girlie “flowers and ponies” kind of shampoo. Ick. Gross. Note to self: Go To Boots. Buy Shampoo. And Shaving Cream. And Light-Bulbs.
This post is SOOOOO not going to go down well. Tracy and Katy are having a conversation about American and British English. Before I begin, I know that I am jumping rather savagely into the fray on this one, that I don’t mean any disrespect to anyone, and that I am responding in a fashion that is full of generalisations. If I seem to go over the top, bear in mind that I am talking more about a cultural phenomenon than about arguments with individuals, and also bear in mind that I have just as many (if not more) issues with the cultural attitudes of Britain.
TRACY: I think the English are very nice, but when I was teaching English in schools run by British expats, I wasn’t too fond of them. They used to laugh at the Americans and tell us our accents made them sick to their stomachs. I wasn’t allowed to teach “American” English. I had to tell my students that their tennis shoes were called “trainers” and their underwear were called “pants.” Then when I went out for drinks with them after class I would say, “Forget that British nonsense, this is how you should really say it.” Because isn’t it true that most foreigners (and these were businesspeople I was teaching) are going to be doing more business with Americans than with British?
KATY: That said, I’d just like to reassure Tracy that we’re not all like that. Boorish expats really aren’t representative of us all – thank goodness! If it’s any consolation, I’d like to say that when I was living in the States, I always said sneaker, cellphone, baked potato, zucchini and gas. Verily, Tracy spaketh the truth – I wouldn’t have got very far talking about trainers, courgettes or petrol. Though I must confess, I still couldn’t bring myself to call trousers ‘pants’, and women’s underwear ‘panties’. You can take the girl out of England but you can’t take England out of the girl I guess…
Now excuse me, but I really think that Tracy needs to be taken to task a little here. I mean I don’t want to come over all Riothero-ish, but really! I mean really! Before I begin, I should make it clear that I do not in any way condone telling people that their accents make them “sick to their stomachs”. And I don’t want to go into details about how if it were a school run by people speaking British English then it makes sense not to confuse your students with two sets of vocabulary for everyday things (although it makes much more sense to teach one branch of the language [whichever one] and then supplement that with a separate class on local variations in Australia, England, US, English-speaking parts of the Far East etc). Nor am I going to talk about how the attitude that you should tell your students to “Forget that British nonsense, this is how you should really say it.” is just as bloody dodgy as the stomach comment. No – I am going to leave all that beside and concentrate on an old bugbear of mine.
In the UK, everyone can understand pretty much everything that an American can come out with. Every accent has been heard on television, or in the cinema or met in person. Similarly, the English can understand pretty much everything that Australians, South Africans and New Zealanders say. Australasians in their turn can understand pretty much everything that people say in the UK and the US. The idiom might seem strange but it is still comprehensible. So why is it that Americans have so much trouble? And what height of arrogance is it to assume that people learn English to speak only to Americans?
The fact is that America has become culturally dominant through the media across the world. The American Dream has been packaged and repackaged and circulated through the world and the world has eagerly bought it up. In the process, the world has become familiar with the US of A. But also in the process, America has become more insular and inward looking – unwilling (on the whole) to import entertainment products (except redubbed and repackaged cartoons) from the rest of the world. And as the news companies (TV and print) compete for market share, they have become gradually more and more caught up in the idea that Americans want to hear about America – that everything important happens there first.
But this insularity does not mean that the rest of the world has to adapt to service [the] US (Borg joke). Our biological and technological distinctiveness will NOT be added to their own. Frankly, Americans understanding or not understanding British English is a matter for the US education system. it is not our responsibility to make it palatable to North Americans. I’m sure the French or the Japanese would feel the same way if it was suggested they should simplify their language for the purposes of tourists – why should the UK be any different?
In Scandinavia at the moment, mobile phone technology and information technology is integrated into the structure of the world like nowhere else. People are already doing all the things that are still being promised in the US, in the UK and the rest of Europe, and in the rest of the world. And the world takes notice. But I heard of a meeting in the last six months where a US company started talking to a business in the UK talking about the magical times of the future when all these things would be possible – a magical time that THEY were helping to bring about. The patient UK CEO listened carefully and then told him about the Scandinavian projects. The US company hadn’t even heard of them, but they didn’t care! They simply didn’t believe that a system that was not invented in the US could catch on.
I don’t have a problem with American English, nor do I have a problem with the gradual homogenisation of language that is inevitably going to occur as international boundaries go down (although I can understand why people might get annoyed). After all, language is a living thing and phrases and structures from other cultures get co-opted all of the time. English (in all its various forms) is full of these borrowings, moreso than any other language. But these ideas: 1) that those of us who speak British English should not teach our own language [because] 2) all foreign people learning English are interested in only in America, 3) that British English speaking people should adapt their language to make it more comprehensible to those trained in American English while 4) Americans remain culturally unwilling to make any attempt to understand anything that happens outside their borders. Well, frankly, I find that slightly ridiculous.
For more on this subject, check out my post for 3/26/2000. If you are furious with me or need to get involved in this particular scrap, e-mail me at tom@no-spam-please-barbelith.com.


