Categories
Gay Politics

Not a real man. Not a real gay.

OK so it’s a standard conversation. You’re out with women and you’re chatting away about someone who’s just fucked them over in some way and they say things like, “All Men are pointless”, or “I’ve never met a man who didn’t like football”. And then you look a little perturbed and say, “Well I’m a man, and I’m not pointless and I don’t like football”, and then they look at you in a slightly conspiratorial / slightly pitying fashion and say, “Well straight men – you know what I mean”. They might as well actually say “proper” men.

OK so it’s a standard conversation. You’re out with women and you’re chatting away about someone who’s just fucked them over in some way and they say things like, “I wish straight men could be more like gay men – you know, cultured, tidy, good cooks that never belch.” And then you look a little perturbed and say, “Well I’m a gay man, and I belch and am a mess and eat pizza and watch bad television”, and then they sit there in a slightly embarrassed / slightly appalled way and say, “Well, other gay men. You know what I mean.” They might as well say “proper” poofs.

There’s a website called Guyville and its tagline is, “Where Men Can Be Guys” – but really it’s all about birds and sports and gadgets and shagging. It’s a bit sad really.

Post edited in September 2026 to remove some self-deprecating language I no longer find in line with my values.

Categories
Gay Politics Journalism Politics

On 'Balanced' and 'Impartial' Journalism…

I’ve just read this astonishing article on a conference held by journalists about the reporting of gay issues: [“‘Gay’ journalists turn activists“] At this conference the question of “balance” came up – the question was Do we have to present both sides of the opinion on gay issues, when we don’t on racism? This is a quote from one of the people present:

“Ramon Escobar, an MSNBC producer who moderated the same plenary session, said, “This whole issue of ‘balance’ that we as journalists are supposed to achieve. … When we cover the black community, I’ve never seen a newsroom where you’re covering one side and then you have to go run out and get the Klan’s point of view: ‘Well, I’ve got to go do my Klan interview.’ How do you be fair?”

The article itself, however, is decidedly anti-gay – they quote the piece above as if it were a ridiculous thing to say. The journalist themselves says:

“Despite all the gay propaganda masquerading as news; despite the ubiquitous pro-“gay” puff pieces; and the “inside” manipulations by NLGJA journalists, something is wrong: Americans are still repulsed by homosexual behavior. Gay sex remains a massive turn off. “

I’m not going to argue with this person on the grounds of rights vs tastes – although one might argue briefly that not liking hip-hop should not be reason enough to countenance racism – but what I am going to take issue with is his statement about the role of journalists. Two quote for you now:

“A newsman’s job is to report the news — not undermine natural inhibitions guided by centuries of moral teaching.”

At the conference, homosexual reporters in mainstream media positions found it hard to subdue their enthusiasm for “gay rights,” thus discarding the old journalistic ethic of neutrality.

That the gentleman concerned also seems to miss the point of is that the job of the reporter is also to report the truth – whether that be difficult for some people to accept or not. The interpretation of that truth is another matter – and I’m afraid one where it simple isn’t possible to take a completely “balanced” line.

After all – how can you be “balanced” and still be a reporter – if what you report has to reflect the full breadth of opinion on every issue, whether or not there is any evidence or not, then serious news reporting about the death of Kennedy would be full of wild accusations and (probably) untruths (aliens, CIA conspiracies, FBI conspiracies, Masons, Illuminati etc etc etc). The job of the reporter is to assess the facts and report what seems most likely to be the truth – not to mirror what he or she reports to the opinions of the population.

In fact, I think this points to one of the biggest crises in journalism in the USA today. Writing the news has never been about being “balanced” (in the sense of mirroring the report to a greater or lesser extent to what various interest groups say is the truth), but about being impartial – free from those influences to write what appears to be the truth.

Categories
Gay Politics

On different stages in gay identity…

I’ve been through three major episodes in my quest for a decent gay identity, and none of them have really fitted right. First came the pre-gay “Can’t we be just like everyone else” episode, where I wore what everyone else wore, sneered at gay people “celebrating” their difference on television and tried to cover up any “unnatural” urges I might have had to classmates at school and Uni.

Then came the early-gay “apologist” mode, where I appeared comfortable enough about the whole thing to declare myself gay to friends and family, and to live as a gay man, with the continual proviso that I should act in a politically appropriate way. This was when I was involved at quite a substantial level in student gay politics.

And then came the mid-gay, “fuck it” approach to the world, which is all about not allowing myself to pander to the whims of straight bigots or gay bigots, but just get on with things as loudly and annoyingly as possible. This stage has been great fun, and I sometimes wonder why so many people seem to spend so much time in the first two stages before realising the wonder of being a bloody nuisance whenever they get the chance.

With all this in mind, however, I decided to have a wander around some gay news, information and shopping sites – to do a survey, as it were, of the state of the gay (inter)nation. And unfortunately, I immediately came up against this: Gay E-cards so hideous and twee that it’s like my grandmother knitted them in a gesture of political solidarity.

I fear this is the final stage of the evolution of one’s gay identity. The individual concerned becomes so comfortable with being gay, that they actually start to return to the childish state of taking it seriously, and are again completely unable to see any irony or humour in anything at all. Only this time they’re buying each other bunches of chrysanthemums and washer dryers. I swear to god, the people who think these cards are cool can no longer be anything even vaguely resembling human. If this is the future of gay life, then I am a resolute homophobe.

Categories
Gay Politics

Super-villain or cringing victim?

There’s a really bizarre article about Richard Hatch, the so-called “Evil Queen” of America’s “Survivor” (which we don’t get over here in UK) over at the Washington Post: “Hard to Beat, Impossible to Avoid“. I kind of skim read the article until my eyes got caught by this little paragraph:

“The straight world is conditioned to think of homosexuality as a handicap, a weakness, a fey stereotype. The gay rights movement tries to present a warm, united front and yet somehow amplifies the notion that gay men and lesbians are marginal, lacking in power.”

Whatever the rest of the article says, this is a truth that will echo down through the ages. I prefer the “We Are Everywhere” approach. I’d rather be a super-villian than a cringing victim.

Categories
Gay Politics Politics

More on Gay Marriage…

A few people seem think I fell from the womb an angry crusader for queer politics. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. I started my big gay life as the biggest anti-queen you can imagine – my main mission was to try to convince people that gay people were basically identical to straight people, and that people who thought differently were basically stereotyping. I still believe that a lot of people who think gay people are different are basically stereotyping, but I’ve become increasingly comfortable with the idea of difference. Fair enough if you want to have a monogamous relationship with someone your entire life. Why call it marriage? Why make a contract out of it? Why do it in front of god? Why does it change your legal status? Your tax status?

Gay people have been hindered by a large number of legal and social restrictions over the last few decades. But along with this absence of rights came the necessity of figuring out how to do relationships between two men or two women that worked. For some people this meant a “butch” partner and a “femme” partner – in a fashion that directly aped heterosexual relationships of power of the time. For others it meant monogamous coupledom. For still others random sex and a tight-knit relationship with friends, multiple partners or no partners. But all of them felt less of a requirement to settle down, find the man/woman of their dreams and move into a house with a white-picket fence. In the past, we have been forced not to be complacent and this has provided some wonderful alternatives to “marriage”.

So it would certainly be my opinion that gay people shouldn’t get married in any legal sense of the word. Why revel in the sanctioning of your particular perversion? Why be legitimated while all the alternatives that have been developed over the last hundred years are still frowned upon? There’s just no need to sign a piece of paper. Instead, make a stand for difference and variety between communities, and between members of the same community. Have a relationship by all means. Move in. Stay with them forever. But don’t get married. And don’t do it for me…

One final thought takes us ten, twenty years down the line. When you’ve sucessfully separated the “good/married” gay people from the “bad/non-married/sex-crazed” gay people, what makes you think that the latter won’t be stigmatised again, like they were during the AIDS tensions of the eighties?

Categories
Gay Politics

Why are married people being financially rewarded?

Jonno and Sturtle have been discussing my “anti-gay-marriage” piece.

“I understand what he’s trying to say: historically, marriage has been a sort of institutionalized inequity, so if queer politics are about reshaping norms and ideas of what’s acceptable and getting rid of social inequity, why adopt marriage as one of the planks in our platform? Unfortunately, that sort of philosophy falls on some very hard rocks in the face of legalities that prevent g/l/b/t partners from securing inheritances, visitation rights, and countless other benefits that legally joined partners enjoy (except, of course, in the great state of Vermont).” [Sturtle]

This misses my point, to an extent. I was arguing that we deserved the right to marriage, even if we didn’t take it up, but that if we were going to have “legally sanctioned relationships” at all (which I would rather we didn’t), they should be considerably more diverse. To make a further point: rather than bemoaning equal access to the financial advantages of hetersexual marriage, perhaps we should be removing those advantages and spreading the financial awards between all of us.

This point is particularly relevant for Jonno‘s comments:

“I would’ve agreed with a lot more of what Tom had to say about gay marriage (and the article he quotes at length) before I had a mortgage to deal with and started resenting the fact that Richard and I pay considerably more taxes than a het couple would in our situation.”

But that’s exactly the point, isn’t it? They have chosen to operate in a similar relationship to marriage (even though they have also chosen to ignore aspects of the heterosexual equivalent) and now think it is unfair that they cannot reap the material rewards that go along with it. I’m more interested in why they are not concerned about the unfairness of people who have not chosen to occupy such a relationship helping to subsidy the lives of married straights! And in this I am asking EVERY single person, whether they be straight or gay, promiscuous or monogamous, serially monogamous etc. etc. etc. Why are married people being financially rewarded?

Categories
Gay Politics

Thoughts on Gay Marriage…

Just read an article on Salon.com called: “Same-sex marriage – I don’t care if it is legal, I still think it’s wrong — and I’m a lesbian.” and it brought home again a lot of the things that I was thinking about yesterday while watching Queer as Folk 2. The situation is this. Gay politics in the 80s was about being worthy, reasonable, “rising above” abuse, scrabbling for rights. And to an extent, that is still what it is about. It mirrored to the legal aspects of liberal feminism. But feminism progressed, and so has gay politics.

Now, for me at least, gay politics isn’t like that any more. For me the horrors are the Uncle Tom like behaviour of happy little queens on TV and in films (stand up, you abomination Three to Tango) and the assimilationist politics that means that just because gay people are now beginning to have the rights that everyone else (and by this I mean straight, male, european caucasions of a certain age – I suppose) has, that they should want to do the same things that everyone else does. That is, of course, when it doesn’t offend people’s delicate sensibilities. “Let’s let them be like us,” goes out the cry, “and if there are things they are allowed to do, but just can’t, well that’s their problem isn’t it?”

Two examples:

  • Gay Marriage
    Marriage is a legal institution and it comes with a range of legal and financial advantages and disadvantages. It is an option for co-habiting heterosexuals, but not for most gay people. Should it be an option – YES. Should a non-“institution of marriage”-type form of legally recognised relationship be instituted (for both straight and gay people) – YES. Should gay people “get married”. It’s up to them – but I’d say no. Why do it? For whom? Are there no alternatives that might provide better options for gay people? Will lesbians have the same relationships as gay men or straight couples? Are there no alternatives that might provide better options for relationships that are currently grouped as “heterosexual”? The point of gay politics has been to fight for a space to be different. And that difference doesn’t end when you are out of bed (or wherever it is people have sex nowadays)…
  • Children
    Most gay men I know have spent at least some portion of their lives thinking that they’d never have children. The first thing parents say when they find out you’re gay is “No grandchildren for me”. The first thing friends say when they hear about coming out to your parents is “It must be a shock for them realising they are never going to have grandchildren”. But of course all of this is the same tacit assumption that a child must be the product of a “healthy relationship” – which encodes all kinds of things within it (the age of the respective partners, the number of people in the relationship [and I’m not talking about sex there, although I could have], their backgrounds, sexual orientations, race, occupations, preference to work or to look after children etc etc etc). By which we could easily read “normal relationship” of course. But gay people aren’t normal. That’s kind of the point. If we were normal we wouldn’t have had to fight for so much – we wouldn’t have had to fight for the right to have sex with people we love, or desire, or like – or to adopt, or not be subject to medical experiments, or to be bullied at schools, or to be thrown out of our parent’s homes. If people are happy to accept that there are different ways to have a relationship – why are they so resistant to their being different suitable relationships to bring children up within? And one of my favourite headlines recently: “Britains first gay parents” – as if the fact that they actually got a surrogate mother to conceive for them makes them any more legitimate than the thousands of gay parents who had to hide their sexuality in harder times, or who chose to conceive with a friend or ex-lover.

Laurie Essig (the writer of the Salon article) is completely correct when she says that marriage is “an institution founded in historical, material and cultural conditions that ensured women’s oppression”. That’s not to say that marriage can’t work well for a woman, but that it depends upon the adaptation of the individual to the institution or the institution to the individual. Marriage is also (as she goes on to say) founded in conditions that excluded “non-productive” sexualities, like homosexuality, masturbation, oral sex, anal sex – the list goes on indefinitely.

And I couldn’t agree more with her when she says:

“why should those of us who have organized our lives in a way that looks a lot like heterosexual marriage be afforded special recognition by the government because of that? What about people who organize their lives in threes, or fours, or ones? What about my friend who is professionally promiscuous, who for ideological and psychological and sexual reasons has refused to ever be paired with anyone? What about my sister who is straight but has never in her 40-odd years seen a reason to participate in marriage? Which group will gain state recognition next? The polygamous? The lifelong celibate? “My point is not that we should do away with marriage but that we should do away with favoring some relationships over others with state recognition and privilege. Religions, not the state, should determine what is morally right and desirable in our personal lives. We can choose to be followers of those religions or thumb our noses at them. But the state has no place in my bedroom or family room, or in yours, either. ”

Categories
Gay Politics

A letter to Doctor Laura…

I got an e-mail from Kerry which included this open letter to Dr Laura:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

A Fan

Categories
Gay Politics

On Homophobic Bullying

This post was added late in 2001 when I tried to get some of my older work online in a vaguely useful form. Plasticbag.org (neé Barbelith) was created on November 1st 1999.

In November, an inquest heard that a 15-year-old choirboy had been found hanged in his bedroom. Darren Steele had been left at home watching Neighbours by his mother when she went out for the evening. When she returned she found him dead. A note by his body explained that he had killed himself because of the bullying that he was suffering at school.

Darren had been bullied because other students thought he was gay. At the inquest, his friends explained that he had been regularly taunted as a ‘gay boy’ and a ‘poof’ because of his interests in drama and cookery. Over the previous five years he had been systematically punched, verbally abused and even burned with cigarettes by other students. He never told a teacher.

His mother’s statement reads: “I saw Darren kneeling on the far side of the bed. His face was blue. I went downstairs screaming ‘my son is dead’.”

According to gay campaigning groups, there is significant evidence that school-children are experiencing homophobia on an almost daily basis. A survey published in 1994 by Stonewall revealed that homosexuals under 18 are experiencing more violence than any other part of the gay community.

Half of the under-18s surveyed said they had been violently attacked for being gay and 40% of these attacks involved four or more attackers. 60% said they had been harassed, 40% had faced threats or blackmail, while 90% had been verbally abused.

Support organisations recognise the scale of the problem. “Children do get bullied because of their sexuality and name-calling and teasing can have a devastating effect on children’s lives,” said a spokesman for Childline. “They go home and they can still hear the jibes and taunts. And this can cause significant problems in self-esteem in later life.”

The Stonewall survey found that around half of attacks on gay children were perpetrated at school by other students. Annie Priestley (not her real name) has just completed her first year at University. However, there were times when it seemed unlikely that she would complete her GCSEs. She was forced to change schools twice after other children found out that she was a lesbian.

“I had dog shit and eggs put into my bag, abuse written across my locker,” she says. “Anything I didn’t put in my locker would be covered in graffiti. I had words spray-painted onto my jacket. I had kids telling me that they were going to beat my head in.

“I got into a couple of fights, and had bruises and cuts around my eye. I had a bottle smashed over my arm at one point. One day in the middle of a cookery lesson I even had knives thrown at me. But I never told the teachers why it was happening because they’d tell my parents. ”

The experience of gay teenagers seems to suggest that homophobic bullying in schools is not being dealt with because the pupils simply do not trust their teachers.

“Bullying of any type is totally unacceptable, but homophobic bullying – like racist bullying – is based on attacking someone for what they are,” says a spokesman for the NUT. “But the problem for teachers is getting the help of the person who is being bullied in identifying and sorting out the problem. Often these young people do not wish to talk to anyone else about it at all.”

But perhaps gay school children are right not to go to their teachers. Last year the University of London produced a report on secondary school teachers and their experience of homosexual pupils and bullying.

It found that 82% of teachers were aware of gay name-calling at their schools and 26% were aware of violent incidents that had been accompanied by homophobic comments. But while 99% of schools had a policy on bullying, only 6% had any policy targeted at young gay men and lesbians.

Lord Tope is the Liberal Democrat spokesperson on education in the House of Lords. He has been investigating the bullying of gay teenagers. In a debate in October in the Lords he suggested that pupils were not the only people harassing gay children in schools. In his statement he said that some teachers were either ignoring the bullying or occasionally even joining in.

“An RE teacher in Scotland required by his enlightened school to discuss homosexuality in his classes told the whole class: ‘I’m sure nobody wants to know about the poofs apart from Ben’,” he told the Lords. “The tragic irony of this is that many of them have yet to have sex with anyone, let alone a relationship.”

David Allison of gay campaigning group Outrage agrees that educators must take some responsibility. “Many teachers, partly because of their own prejudices and because of the legislature, are unable to give support to their pupils. And bullied school children don’t have access to any other areas of support, such as the gay community. In fact they might not even know that such a thing exists.”

The roles and responsibilities of teachers of gay children has long been a controversial issue in the UK. Section 28 of the Local Government Act, 1988, prohibited local education authorities from “the intentional promotion of homosexuality” and “the teaching of homosexuality as a pretend family relationship”.

Stonewall believe that many teachers believe incorrectly that it bans them from discussing homosexuality. And next week they are launching a campaign to help inform educators about the legislation and the lives of gay teenagers. They hope it will go some way towards stopping deaths like Darren Steele’s.

“We see homophobic bullying as one of the key issues of the moment,” says a spokesman for the group, “and we are trying to get the Government to address it more fully.”

The government is already undertaking some preliminary actions to address the problem. It has announced its intention to repeal Section 28, although Stonewall fears the legislation will be dropped this session because of the government’s attempt to abolish hereditary peerages.

The Department of Education and Employment (DEE) is bringing out new guidelines on bullying for schools and local education authorities in the new year. The document, which has been welcomed by the NUT, will recognise that bullying can occur due to sexual orientation.

However, despite Lord Tope urging the DEE to ” tell governors and head teachers their anti-bullying policies must include specific plans to stand up to homophobic bullying”, no such measures have been outlined.

And teachers who make homophobic comments will still be subject only to the disciplinary procedures of their own school.

“The teaching profession is made up of human beings”, says a spokesman for the NUT. “Bad responses from teachers are much the minority – it is a caring profession. But in a profession of 1/2 million people (in England and Wales) you will get teachers who don’t care as much as they ought to.”

After Darren Steele’s death, the police arrested 11 pupils from his school in Burton on suspicion of harassment. The Crown Prosecution Service later decided not to prosecute them. Darren Steele’s Headmaster Michael York said of the death of his pupil – “The real tragedy is that Darren’s parents, the school and his grandparents were not aware of his suffering.”

Categories
Gay Politics

A 'Trauma' interview with Annie Priestly

This post was added late in 2001 when I tried to get some of my older work online in a vaguely useful form. Plasticbag.org (neé Barbelith) was created on November 1st 1999.

Annie Priestly grew up on the Isle of Wight. She was bullied and abused at school because she was a lesbian. She was too scared to tell her teachers or her parents. She tells her story:

“I had always been popular at school. I was sporty and considered clever, but I wasn’t a swot.

“I started having crushes on women when I was 12. I got really attached to girls in my year. They weren’t really good friends of mine, which is why I thought it was something different. It was all the really good-looking girls – the pretty ones.

“When I was about 15 I decided to come out as being gay to my best friend. She was great about it. I remember being so overwhelmed. Shortly afterwards I told some of my other close friends. They seemed fine, but were more cautious. They didn’t discuss it with me afterwards.

“I started to notice a change in attitude towards me at school. People kept their distance. Overnight there always seemed to be whispering around. Rumours started up that I was a slut – that I had slept with virtually every boy in the class – that I was weird – that I was a boy.

“When I was 16, a girl passed me a note. She asked me if it was true that I was gay. I was really surprised. I told her that I was, and she invited me to see a film with her.

“Over the next few weeks we saw a lot of each other. One day she told me she was bisexual. She grabbed my jumper and we kissed. That was my first kiss. It was wonderful, overwhelming. I had to leave, but I really wanted to stay. I wanted to sleep with her. I just wanted to do something.

“Everything was fine for a week but then people found out. I had written her a letter and somebody had found it. Lads started screaming at me in the playground. ‘You’ve kissed a girl’, they said, ‘You’ve had female saliva in your mouth. That’s gross.’ No one in the school would talk to me. The girl went into hiding. My best friend wasn’t at school. I was so scared of what might happen.

“Some people decided that I had made up kissing her because I was a ‘sick lesbian’. They said I was spreading nasty rumours because I fancied her so much. They said it was all a sick fantasy in my head. I had never been bullied before. It was really vindictive.

“I went to see the girl but she decided she couldn’t come to terms with it. She didn’t want her friends to find out. She didn’t want rumours spread about her. I couldn’t blame her.

“I had the most miserable Christmas of my life. I was so depressed and my parents didn’t know what was wrong with me because I hadn’t come out to them. I started drinking and I was cutting myself with razor blades. I felt so alone. My friends were no longer a protective wall – even they had stopped hanging around with me.

“It all came to a head in March. My motorbike was stolen and crashed down the road. I had dog shit and eggs put into my bag, abuse written across my locker – anything I didn’t put in my locker would be covered in graffiti. I had words spray-painted onto my jacket. I had kids telling me that they were going to beat my head in for all the ‘lies’ I was ‘spreading’.

“I got into a couple of fights, and had bruises and cuts around my eye. I had a bottle smashed over my arm at one point. One day in the middle of a cookery lesson I even had knives thrown at me. I never told the teachers why it was happening because I thought they’d tell my parents.

“One night I was on my way to see my cousin on the other side of the island, and I was so upset, crying and shaking, that I crashed my motorbike. I was bruised all over, and could hardly walk for a week.

“The accident made me wake up – I couldn’t cope with school any more. Without telling my mum and my stepfather, I started contacting schools around where my original father lived. Even my form tutor agreed that I should leave the school.

“One day when my father was visiting, I broke down in tears and said that I had to leave home. I couldn’t tell them why, so my mother thought it was her fault. She couldn’t stop crying.

“Over the summer no one called me. I rang up all my old close friends and told them that I was leaving to do my A-levels in London, and that we were having a goodbye barbecue. None of them came. The day that I left was the worst day of my life. I had to explain to my little brother, who was only five, that I wasn’t going to be coming back. I couldn’t stop crying. I was leaving my home of ten years, my friends and my family.

“Things got so much better when I enrolled in a 6th form college in London. It was so liberating. I had no problems with my sexuality at all. I passed my A-levels and I am now at university. When I found out that there was no support for gay people I set up a society and became the Lesbian and Gay Officer. Since I have been here, I have come out to my family and we are getting on really well.

“I know that there are people who have had similar experiences to myself. I want to be here to support those who wanted to come out. Through the work we have done here many more people now know that it is OK to come out, and OK to be gay.”