plasticbag.org

Me? I don’t love anyone.

On the cover of a book I’m reading there is this statement: “Triumphs of imagination such as the person you love is 72.8% water”. Which made me think – is it a triumph of imagination to visualise the person you love as over a hundred pounds of water, or is it a greater leap of the imagination to look at said hundred pounds of water and decide to love it?

But the stuff that makes you human is the other stuff. Right? The 27.2% that isn’t water. But that’s clearly untrue. You might as well say that the person you love is one fifth coal to four fifths water. You’d still be way off. The person you love is a self-organising generated string of information that has mutated and transformed and lengthened and retransmitted itself over hundreds of millions of years. They are the latest holographic representation of a stream of information broadcast from the ancient past. They are the carriers of chinese whispers passed down from a universe of different creatures that have watched the world change – that have changed the world. And they are the only people that carry this message. Now that’s something worth loving.

The one of my heroes that isn’t Steve Jobs has been interviewed and is his normal dazzling brilliant self. When asked what the world needs now, he replies, “More soldiers”.

Are you ready to go back in time? Want to read lots of old plasticbag.org crap from before it was even plasticbag.org? Do you miss this?Think every design I’ve done in the last year and a half has been crap!? Well screw you, mister. Like I give a damn what you think! Or alternatively, check it out!

• Flashback!: Riothero’s prom!
• Flashback!: Tom gets a haircut!
• Flashback!: Celebrity Big Brother Quake Castaway Deathmatch!
• Flashback!: Tom’s fucked-up dream life!
• Flashback!: Regular Ivan Massow updates!
• Flashback!: Powazek quits. Riothero’s Batman!
• Flashback!: Mark had a dream!
• Flashback!: Tom gets into serious trouble…
• Flashback!: Relationship gets to “I run a website and you are on it” point!

I write crap nowadays. I was much more fun then.

Blogger is down again. But wireless.blogger.com seems to be working just fine!

If I’m honest, I’m grumpy because I’ve got toothache again. And everything that follows (although all relevant complaints) is probably borne of dental pain. It’s toothache like this that started most of the world’s major shitstorms, if you ask me. Certainly at the moment I’d cheerfully fuck the world for some free dental work. Damn you Thatcher for screwing up the NHS dentists.

And while I’m at it, I think it’s about time I griped about Blogger. It’s a wonderful democratic piece of software that I’ve used without paying a penny since the day it launched (apart from a tiny donation once). I love it. It’s changed my life.

But will someone please explain to me why you can’t do a permalink for a day instead of just an entry?! It makes no sense! You have a variable for the archive page’s file name. You have date formats that would work well as internal links on a page. Why then is it impossible to put the archive page tag in the date header!? Why doesn’t that work!? It should work! And it would immediately increase the adaptability of the service!

And it would mean we could all make site’s that work like Jason’s if we wanted to, without killing ourselves fighting with bloody Movable Type, which I also love but is still frustrating me beyond human belief.

I can’t be the only person in the world who finds bits of Movable Type endlessly frustrating. You try and import two and a half years of Blogger entries, and it chokes almost immediately. Or to be more precise, Pair chokes on it. And it chokes half-way through carefully organised files you’ve made so that you can import in chunks. And when that happens you can’t easily go and find the entries that are part of the last batch, because it can’t render the list of entries in its entirety without (surprise) pair.com choking on it. Because you see, there’s no ‘next page’ link on the entries page – instead you have to show all entries.

And when it’s importing from more than one file, it doesn’t import them in a logical order that I can see, so you duplicate some file’s entries and miss others completely. And when you get too frustrated with the process, and reconcile yourself to using Blogger until you die, and you try to delete the blog you’ve created, pair.com choke once more, throwing up endless server errors until you finally want everyone surrounding you to die and are spitting chunks and throwing strops. This can’t be right. This is all wrong. Surely.

Tasteless comment of the day: Davo: In other news, I now smell like Georgio Armani. Tom: What? Dead?

Read all about it! The new iMac reaches Wired.com.