What a strange few days I’ve had. I’ve seen Jeepers Creepers, I’ve gone drinking in a bar next to the Ritz for a friend’s birthday, I’ve looked quizzically at the beautifully cut suits of young and attractive young men, I’ve gone bowling at the Trocadero until the tubes shut (and I came second), I’ve gone for Dim Sum with Michael, Davo and Simon – and I’ve eaten chicken feet in the process (we said “Chicken, please”, she said “Chicken feet!?”, we said, “Er, okay, I guess”), I’ve written work for Time Out, I’ve produced an e-mail newsletter for IAB Internet Advertising Bureau, I’ve written Britney Spears frightens pigs for TCN – and with any luck tonight, I can just relax.
Since The Grapevine seems to have suddenly appeared on Blogger’s “Blog’s of Note” page, and since I seem to be the featured lampoon victim of the day, I suppose I’d better comment. Yes, it’s all true. I am a glittering queen. Yes, I am married. Yes she is called Suk Mei Wang and yes, we live in Chester. However the picture is a fake. I look more like Harrison Ford.
The new Apple device is announced today in the US, and I’m surprised by how interested I am. Perhaps foolishly I thought I was past getting excited by press releases. If you’re a journalist for any period of time you get used to them and find them at best tedious and at worst laughable. That doesn’t mean you don’t use them of course – there aren’t enough journalists to do all the editorial work that journalists are supposed to do.
Part of me wishes that they’d release something like this – the world’s first actual ‘gaydar’ product, designed to make it easier to spot and meet people of dodgy sexualities. Apple could do it so much more skillfully than most – and they could combine it with online profiles so you could get information about people you met in real life afterwards – if they wanted you to… All this stuff could be ideal for people like me who are basically too dim to tell if someone fancies them, and very keen to suggest dodgy congress with people who are resolutely – tediously – straight.
The pop question of the day is Which Spice Girl would you most like to smack in the face? Think about it carefully before you go – it’s a difficult question. They are all so very objectionable in all their special different kinds of ways…
A fairly accurate portrait of my personality.
And in a blinding flash, I’m suddenly convinced I know who The Grapevine is.
Micro-snippet two: T-shirt of choice.
Because it’s genius: The Wheels of Madonna…
I’m feeling kinda lonely over at the TCN boards today. Come and join me – let’s talk about trashy celebrity stuff.