plasticbag.org

Coolest T-shirt in the world

My mother always told me, “Never trust a lady with a tape measure”: Thanks Davo! I’d also like to thank Simon for the minidisc and the card, NIck Jordan for the Tricky album, Chris for The Man Who Was Thursday, Jerwin for making me want to be a Teenage Dirtbag, my gran for the tenner and my family for the cheque. Love you all.

Happy birthday to me, Love My Online Cult.

Anyway – I’m twenty-nine now. Time to put aside childish things, buy some proper trousers without pockets half the way down them or detachable legs and think about more serious matters – like the campaign to get myself, Davo and lots of other people drunk, shagged and married off by (the end of) August. For more details flashback to April.

Someone did a search for Max on my search engine, which made me think about doing a search about him as well, and when I did a search it was all really depressing crap, because I never write about him unless he’s really pissed me off. Anyway – that’s not the point of this post. The point is that in the process I read a post about meeting a guy in a club and him being kind of nice. His name was Luke and apparently we had fun, but I don’t remember what he looked like at all. There’s not a thing in my head about it. Weird.

Twenty-nine years ago (to the exact minute) I sprang into the world, desperate for a cigarette.

It’s now one day before my 29th birthday. There is loads that I want to post on plasticbag.org, but I refuse to do so! That would distract you all from my earlier post of the day. Which remains the most brilliantly funny thing in the world ever.

Must Click: Possibly the best thing in the world ever, Sean Nadeau’s celebration of my upcoming birthday trip to Sing-a-long-a Sound of Music has had me collapsing with laughter all morning. You have to see this.

Now you can search plasticbag.org in order to find out when precisely it was that I bitched about the User Interface at your favourite site. Will the thrills never end?

“I’d hate to be like certain people I know. They break their necks and can’t afford to get them fixed.”