plasticbag.org

Today on Barbelith: Echelon (3) Protecting yourself – “So what is the threat to privacy that Echelon poses, and what can we do about it. In the third part of out Echelon series, Frances Farmer get practical.”

I want to sell myself to someone, I want to be owned. I want that sense of responsibility to go away. I want to be a thing that someone uses. Property. I don’t want to have to think any more. I want Charles in charge of me.

I hereby declare Ralph to be stroppy guardian of my soul and well-being and agree in principle to being ‘his project’.

Hey look kids: barbelith is an ‘online publication’ according to plastic.com – the metafilter that it’s only just about ok to like, even when they link you. I’m chuffed, nonetheless. Now I need more bloody articles, so stop sitting on your fucking arses and write something.

Temping thrills (1) Arrive at assignment. Sit down. Start computer. Start Outlook. The first e-mail is being displayed in the preview pane. It reads, “Why doesn’t Michael Barrymore use ashtrays? Because he puts his fags out in the pool“. 9.35am – the bile is rising.

And the vote is in, and yes – the answer we were all dreading – temping is the dark lord Satan’s way of making humanity’s life even more of a godawful fucking living hell than we ever thought possible. Swear to god. I’m doing this a week. And then they’re sure as fuck had better be some other work for me to do, otherwise I’m going to fucking kill someone.

For those who don’t believe that it’s possible, I will on cam in my suit in a few minutes. That should give you all an opportunity for a giggle or two.

Today on Barbelith: Echelon (2) Science and Patents – “The technology for these terrifying prospects is not new – the means for interception have stepped hand in hand down the aisle with the means for communication all along.”

There’s another picture of me over at The Mirror Project – this time with most of my clothes off. Not that you can see anything of course.

Question: Why do kid’s movies invariably contain large amounts of scatalogical humour. Surely there must be more funny things you can do with a dog / bear / raccoon than make it crap everywhere?