Kind of grumpy this evening. I went to see a really lame film with Cal which was really really funny, but that I got all mournful in the bus on the way home. I think it’s cos I broke my plastic spork at lunch-time. Maybe it was like a symbol, like they have in books that chicks like. Or something. One thing cheers me up – that tomorrow I can reveal to Cal that Anthony Hopkins character in the movie we saw was called ‘Gaylord Oaks’.
You know what’s crap about the web? People no longer propogate my memes when they’re really shit, just because I tell them to. What’s that about? Jeez, people. How often do I have to explain this relationship to you? I write dumb crap up here every day, and you’re supposed to do my bidding without question in return. It’s not bloody difficult! Shall I write it down for you in capital letters on little bits of paper you can carry with you?
For some unfathomable reason, my wishlist has suddenly hit #17 on Blogdex despite only having been linked to by me. It occurs to me how much fun it would be to get my wishlist to #1 on Blogdex, plus how much extra loot I’d get for my birthday. Which would be cool. So charge your glasses ladies and gentlemen and link today – ideally using this exact phrase: It’s Tom from plasticbag.org’s Thirtieth Birthday Wishlist Bonanza! Or some crap like that…
Cool Buffy link of the day comes courtesy of Prol and friends who have been working on Whedonesque for ages now. It’s a discussion board of the Metafilter tradition – only concerned with nothing but the products of Joss Whedon – Buffy creator. Good show, people! Good site! And destined to be huge…
Best film of the eighties – Heathers – contains a variety of cool quotes. But the shooting script puts an entirely new spin on some scenes. Worth reading for the sheer number of classic lines…
HEATHER MCNAMARA
Look, heather left behind one of her
Swatches. She’d want you to have it,
Veronica. She always said you couldn’t
accessorize for shit.
BEFORE WE EVEN START: Buy me a bloody birthday present already!
On the 19th of July 2002, I will be thirty years old. But with only a few days to go I find myself confused about it. It’s a milestone, clearly – but a milestone of what? Does you life change – or is it going to end up being exactly the same – just moreso? What should I expect from it? What should anyone expect from it?
So what I’m suggesting is this… Rather than me writing a whole piece about the experience – why not open it up to everyone? Why not get everyone of you who has turned thirty to post their stories? Why not get everyone of you who knows a good site or joke or piece of information post it for all of us to see? Then in the years to come (!) other people who are completely bloody freaked out about the whole thing can have all this wonderful stuff to make them feel better or worse…
So if I was going to be writing an autobiography anytime soon I think I’d call it I was a teenage twenty-something. I’ve come increasingly aware that I’m an awful adult. I’m just useless at it. When I meet people I think are sexy and interesting and fun I become a relentless teenager – my voice bounces up two octaves, I say dumb dumb things (if I can think of anything at all to say) and I immediately forget all the things that I’m proud of that I’ve accomplished and instead concentrate on how incredible and astonishing the other person is. You’re supposed to get over this stuff when you’re fifteen or something…
Issues of sexuality aside, it occurs to me that there are a variety of things that it would make a hell of a lot of sense if Amazon knew about you in order to better suggest products. The easiest example? Mac vs PC. Why don’t they just ask me? It would make things so much easier.
So there’s this new feature on Amazon.co.uk where you can buy two things together that are apparently connected for a slightly lower price. It’s a really neat little feature that tries to determine what kind of things would interest you and encourages you to buy them together. Except it’s a little too good at it’s job I fear – buy “An erotic love story packed with stunning young men – for the gay man” and Amazon thinks very carefully about your interests and preferences and promptly spits out Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Too wonderful… What a combination… I wonder if his parents know…
I don’t have gay spending habits. This is the only assumption that I can come to. After going diligently through all of Amazon.co.uk and adding and rating all the things that I own, the DVD recommendations page for ‘Erotica’ shamelessly tells me that I need a DVD which will explain how I could better pleasure a woman. In my experience pleasuring a woman actually isn’t that hard – a Selfridges voucher normally works quite well. It’s quite satisfying to see videos called The Lover’s Guide – What Women Want and click firmly on the little button underneath that reads ‘not interested’!