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Nick: Do you think Harry Potter is a Ninja or a Pirate?
Tom: I think Harry Potter is definitely a Ninja
Tom: it’s the cloak of invisibility
Nick: Really?
Tom: but Ron Weasley is WAY pirate
Nick: I would have said the relentless good feeling made Harry a pirate.
Tom: I’m going to categorise EVERYONE into categories of ninja and pirate from now on
Tom: Kate – ninja
Tom: Mella – pirate
Tom: Toby – pirate
Tom: Nick – ninja
Tom: Fenner – ninja
Tom: Tom – ninja
Tom: Saddam Hussein – pirate
Tom: Margaret Thatcher – pirate
Tom: Bill Gates – pirate
Tom: Steve Jobs – ninja
Tom: Noah Wyle – pirate
Tom: Steven Spielberg – pirate
Nick: Can I post this list?
Tom: if you want!
Nick: Nahhh.
Tom: I didn’t think so
Nick: Half the names mean nothing…
Tom: pussy
Tom: – ninja
Tom: doggy – pirate
Nick: But you could post a list…
Nick: Doggy?
Nick: Oh, right.
Tom: doggies! SOOOO pirates.
Nick: That’s SO true.
Nick: My God.
Nick: Now that would start a discussion, all right.
Tom: Hahaha
Nick: And Ninjas are, of course, creatures of the night, subversive, rejecting the male authority…
Tom: exactly
Tom: much like…
Tom: Britney Spears
Tom: – ninja
Nick: Subtle rather than confrontational, weaker in a head-on confrontation…
Tom: actually no. she’s a pirate
Nick: What?
Tom: close run thing though
Nick: Thank you.
Tom: depeche mode are ninjas
Nick: Yes.
Nick: Harrison Ford?
Nick: Pirate.
Tom: pirate
Nick: George Clooney?
Tom: pirate
Nick: Pirate city….

The fifth sign of apocalypse is here. My cousin Susanna, known throughout her youth for swearing and changing her hair colour every twenty-two minutes and for sticking things through her ears over the bath and for generally listening to the Cure and growling at everyone – yes, that cousin Susanna – has just joined the committee of her local playgroup… There’s only one final sign left to come – the sleeping of the lion with the lamb, and the lamb pulling out a chainsaw and then eating the lion’s fleshy entrails. Then it’s judgment day. We’re all doomed.

So he’s still off wandering around Europe without me, the little stinker. He’s still writing those dumb little stories about all the stupid places he’s going to. Geneva. I mean. Does anyone give a damn?! Amsterdam? Feh. I’ve had it with places that Davo’s going without me. They all suck. And then he’s coming back here for a minute and it will be nice and fun for like a day. Then he’s fucking off again. Pardon my language, but the little bastard needs a good wallop if you ask me. That’d keep him in line. Poncey colonials. Poncing off…

Go on then. Bloody review me already.

Another new Apple product – this time it’s the eMac – a purely for education model of the iMac. It’s kind of a retrograde step in a way, but I suspect that it might not remain education-only for long if people like the look of it…

Today on Barbelith: Woomera – “Woomera, a former missile testing base in the remote southern Australian desert, houses one of Australia’s largest centres for detaining of refugees whilst their asylum claims are processed. Earlier this month, a group of protesters and activists managed to breach the camp’s outer skin. 50 detainees escaped. More than two days on, 10 of the escapees remained on the run. Activist Aizura Hankin reports from the scene.”

Everything you know is wrong! Or at least fourteen things of the twenty-seven things I was asked were wrong: Take the disinformation quiz.

You know what’s weird? That after decades of weather forecasting, one of the most amazing things on the internet remains that you can check the weather forecast for any part of the world. And for free! And on the BBC! I mean. That’s impressive and useful.

Round One: Ninjas refuse to tell Pirates where game is to be held. Pirates raid Ninja coastal town, burn it down, get drunk. Ninjas sulk, hiss. Final Score: Ninjas 1, Pirates, 3. more

I don’t know whether this is something to be proud of or not, but I now appear to have a site that doesn’t work perfectly in any browser. Sigh.